You know, it’s been strange. Even though I was so glad to be off that cruise ship, all of the dreams I’ve had lately have been about being ON a cruise ship! And never in one of them was I sick.

But, anyhow, back to my real narrative.

Our first night on the ship was lovely. We went to a show at the Palladium Theater, and just like they tell you, the shows on board were excellent! the first night, we saw sort of a kick-off show with a preview of the ship’s singers and dancers who did an amazing job all week. Then, we saw a comedian, Al Romas. Or, maybe that was a different night…Anyhow, he was really funny.

I am not sure how many people the theater held. This is a little over half of the ground level. We sat in the balcony.

Proof that we sat in the balcony, in case you doubted me.

Peep sampled the Bon Voyage!

We went to bed happy and pleased. That night, poor Peep woke up and lay in her bed, feeling wretched. At 5:00, I was awake, too, as I heard some telltale sounds of an unhappy stomach happening in the bathroom. Every hour or less, Peep was back in the bathroom. By the next morning, we took her to the infirmary to get this thing taken care of. They put an IV in her and gave her medicine. She slept there for a few hours. 

At 11:30, we reached our first port, Key West. As the cruise director joked, “You’re going to get on a cruise ship in Florida and sail all night long and get off…in FLORIDA!”  After seeing if Peep would want to come ashore and finding she did not, I headed out for the beach and let her sleep.

This is all she got to see of Key West. That is, if she had actually looked out our porthole window, which I’m not sure she did.

I really did not know what to expect from Key West. It’s not a very big place. It sort of reminded me of a boardwalk which had grown into a town. There were loads of shops and bars and strange “street performers,” like a woman dressed as an angel, a pirate guy, some guy painted gold, two young children playing an electric keyboard and singing, this guy with snakes and lizards, and many more. I think the guy who seemed to have the most business was a fellow with a crudely made cardboard sign which said, “Dirty Joke $1.” I didn’t take any pictures of these folks because I figured I’d have to pay them!

I did take a picture of this sign, though. Peep and I were to go on the “Jimmy Buffett Tour of Key West,” but due to lack of people signing up, they canceled it and refunded our money. Great deal, as Peep was too sick to go!

Later in the day, I sat down on some steps to just enjoy the atmosphere. (Yes, I know, jumping ahead in my narrative, but it fits.) There was a 20 year old guy asking passersby if they could give him two cents.  Most people did not, but some gave him some change. I said, “You know, there was a guy selling dirty jokes for a dollar. Maybe you should sell clean jokes for fifty cents.” He laughed and explained that one must have a permit to be a street performer (or whatever they were called) and that permits were $250 and were only sold one week in the year.  We chatted for a bit, and I got to hear some of his story–left home at 18, roaming around, having fun. Couldn’t get a real job because his social security card was stolen. (Um, yeah.)  It was interesting. I guess he lived by this bar’s maxim:

 

Anyhow, back to my tale of Key West…

Since it was just like a big boardwalk, after buying a few t-shirts, what does one do? I decided what I wanted to do was to find the beach. I found water, but there were always big boulders surrounding it. “This is an ISLAND!” I thought. “Surely there is a beach!”  I asked the t-shirt vendor where the beach was. He showed me on my map of Key West and said it would take about 20 minutes to walk there. Since he was sending me to the opposite side of the island, I assume the island was a mile long. So, I began to walk. And I saw chickens. It turns out there are about 5,000 free-range chickens in Key West. Who would have though it?

Anyhow, I walked and walked and found more boulders and such until I reached the southernmost point of the USA:

Yes, this woman is the southernmost point of the USA. They make her stand there all the time. Ha ha.

Well, when I reached that point, I realized I had somehow missed the beach. I turned around and started walking the other way, through residential parts of Key West. They were pretty, but some were sort of run-down.

I saw what appeared to be another tourist (carrying a Ron Jon Surf Shop bag) and asked if he knew how to get to the beach. Turns out this tree trimmer from Washington had been doing the same wandering beach-hunting trek. We found a taxi driver resting in a chair in front of his house and asked him. “Well, go to the naval base, go past the bunkers…” Boy, that beach was well hidden! Finally, there was the sign. And only $2.50 to walk in. What a non-bargain.

But, I had found the BEACH! I was on the beach! In January! It didn’t matter that much of the shore was composed of this:

There was enough sand to make a castle. (Someone else did it, not I.)
  

And there were palm trees. REAL palm trees!

And a coastline!

And to prove that I was really there…

 

And Peep was there in spirit.

 

All too soon, I had to head back to the ship. But before I did, I thought it would be neat to stop by the Pirate Museum, since Key West is known for pirates and such. It was too late in the day for me to take a tour of the Museum, but I decided to go in the gift shop. It said that the gift shop was for ages 18 and up. “I guess there must be a lot of expensive things in there,” I thought. I went in and saw some lovely pirate costumes and things. And then, as I proceeded through the store, I realized I had wandered into a huge sex shop! I was really embarrassed. Duh. 18 and over. Duh. Oh, those pirates and their booty…

 

Back to the ship on a trolley ride with a wonderful tour guide whose name was… um…something or other. He said he came to Key West on vacation with his wife and decided to move there and drive a trolley. And that is exactly what he did. (He’s the one who informed me about the chickens.)

When I got back to the ship, I discovered that the earlier medicine had not helped poor Peep at all, and she had spend the afternoon being retch-ed over the few sips of ginger ale she had. So, it was back to the infirmary for a shot which did the trick, but knocked her out for the rest of the night. What was this horrible stomach problem? We now think it was the  stomach flu, as it was going around Curwensville (the small town where she lives) before she left.

Anyhow, now you know how I wasted my day in Margaritaville. And I didn’t even lose a shaker of salt.

When one mentions a cruise, many people immediately think of the food. And those people are totally justified. The food on a cruise is top-notch, plentiful, and included with the price of the ticket, so you eat like mad. All the time.

First, I shall tell you about the most boring part–drinks. You could get water, soda, lemonade, coffee, and tea for free, but if you wanted a soda, you had to pay. Peep and I chose to purchase the unlimited soda plan for $34 for the duration of the cruise. No Diet Cokes for a week? I think not.

The first day at lunch, we wanted a refill, and asked one of the waiters for one. (In the causal buffet, the waiters just wandered around.)  But she never returned. So, we asked a different waiter. And then, they all came at once. (Yes, I did drink all of mine!)

But, perhaps I should back up a bit to tell you about the places we ate and how it worked. There were four ways to dine (five, if you count being fed intravenously): The Windjammer (a buffet), The Great Gatsby (sit down dining, more formal), snack bars, and room service.

The Windjammer

The Windjammer is where we ate most of our meals. It was arranged in a semi-circle. You entered to be greeted by a very cheerful waiter. Next, you’d pass the salad bar/fruit. A soup and bread bar was the next. Then, you’d come to the middle section which was where the majority of the food was.  You can see the middle section in the upper right side of this photo. (I won’t make this one a Where’s Waldo find it!)

And here, the middle section is in the middle!

It was usually pretty crowded in the Windjammer and not easy to find a seat. Several times we wound up sitting with other people, which turned out to be fun, too, as we made some friends.  It was fun to sit and look out the window (when we were docked!).

There were all sorts of yummies to be had at the buffet. Here was my breakfast the first day. (I felt very English, even though I passed on the baked beans and they had no cooked mushrooms.)

In the evenings, the buffet and the formal dining room had the same food. It is just that you were elegantly served in one and got to be a hog in the other! The night Peep was sick, I didn’t want to go to the formal dining room myself, so I went buffet. I do not think I had any cause to be disappointed in my grilled-to-order steak.

   

You know, pictures of food aren’t as good as the food itself. Oh, well.

Peep and I had chosen the late dinner seating for the formal dining room, which meant we did not get to sit down until 8:30. We did not last that long. So, we would go to the buffet around 6:30 and have our appetizers–brie cheese and rolls, fruit, and maybe we would try out some of the desserts.

I tried to choose something new each meal since there was such variety. Green tea mousse, lentil salads, cold grilled zucchini–and more! It was neat to be able to try one taste of everything. They had Asian, American, and unknown cuisine. And the desserts…oy. The desserts!!!

The Great Gatsby

The formal dining room was called The Great Gastby. When I put on my formal gown, Peep said, “Oh, you look like something out of The Great Gatsby!” I said, “Ironic that we are dining there.” She had forgotten the name of the dining room! So, I had to pose under the name. (Yes, I look ill. I was ill. That was my queasy night.)

   

We were assigned a table and a seating time, and we had the same waiters every night. The first picture is the “assistant waiter” who got our drinks. It was nice not having to ask for refills all the time. He just showed up with them! He even knew that I had the Diet Coke option and brought me one without my even asking.  The “thumbs up” waiter was our main waiter. He was a bit facetious but was very efficient. The night I was so queasy, he took one look at me and said, “I am bringing you some soup. It will help with your stomach.” You’ve got to like that!

As I mentioned, we were assigned a table. Here is who showed up for our first night. There was a father and son (Bing and Chris) and three brothers (John, Bill, and Mark).

The brothers had optional seating times, so they only joined us the first night. The rest of the time, our table looked like this:

We had another mother/daughter combo with us. The daughter had an 18 year old daughter and 12 year old son and also was a cheerleading coach. It was fun to visit with them.

The Snack Bar

My beloved solarium played host to the snack bar. I already mentioned pizza, burgers, and fries were available. Also, they had a small buffet set up next to it with cookies, blueberry pound cake (which I never did get to eat. Sniff.), some fruit, and more. 

Here I am, enjoying a cookie. HA HA HA!

Room Service

The night poor Peep was so very sick, we ordered room service for her: chicken broth and a banana. We got both of them delivered to the door on separate plates covered with silver servers. I didn’t think to take a picture of it, but you get the idea. It was a banana.

The Midnight Buffet

Okay, so it wasn’t a dining option, and as a matter of fact, I was too full even to eat anything there. But it was pretty neat!  The last night at sea, they set up a buffet on the pool deck (okay, it was at 11:30, not midnight). They had a live band and some people were dancing. Peep and I even went out for the last song. Fun!

All of the decorations were edible. These were just gorgeous! These were fruit and veggies carved into flowers.

I am not sure what this is? A peach?

Soooooo many pretty things! Brought new meaning to “You look good enough to eat!”

And some things were just fun!

 

Butter Dragon anyone?

Ice sculptures aren’t easy to photograph–flash or not? This one was with a flash.

 

You know, eventually I will have to write an entry for when we got OFF the ship!

One of the delights on going on a cruise or a vacation like this is the thrill of being able to say, “Why, yes, we did sit around the pool in January!” And then all those friends buried under snow, winter coats, and high heating bills sigh a little in jealous, which sort of makes the rocking boat worthwhile.  Peep and I did have this bragging right, although, I must say, it was not my sort of swimming weather–mid 70′s The pool was out in the open, and in this shot of the crowd voting on the Best Belly Flop contest, it is to the left. It wasn’t a very large pool.

Here’s another shot of it.

It wasn’t a very large pool, but it wasn’t very crowded. It was surrounded by deck chairs, two hot tubs, and an occasional live Caribbean band!

I had to take advantage of the atmosphere–in my cardigan while shivering. Still. How could I not?

Every afternoon on the pool deck, in addition to the band, they had soft serve ice cream. It was well worth the walk up nine flights of stairs. NINE FLIGHT of STAIRS.

Now, let me give you a bit of direction on Deck 9. If you start at the front of the ship and head to the back, first you will come to the Windjammer, which is where we ate a lot (more on the food later). You would go through some glass doors and be on the outside pool deck. If you would cross the deck and go through another set of glass doors, you’d be in my favorite part of the ship (other than my cozy bed): The Solarium.

It was always neat to walk into this glass-roofed room. (Apparently, the roof can be retracted on hot days. It stayed closed for our cruise!)  There would be the loud, cheerful noises of the pool deck: people talking and laughing and the band playing, then, once the Solarium doors shut, BAM. Silence. Peace. No cold wind. Just warm, soothing happy.

The Solarium had a shallow pool flanked by two hot tubs. Peep and I enjoyed one of them until a rather large fellow got in and accidentally (we hope) bumped Peep and said, “Oh, sorry. Hot tubs are a contact sport.” Since we didn’t quite buy into that creepy philosophy, we got out!

The room was decorated in blue and green tiles and looked like a Roman bath. It had tables flanking the edges which looked out over the ocean. It was filled with all sorts of potted plants.

The Solarium was also one of the few places on the ship where I could get an internet connection. I didn’t tell you about the internet, did I? 55 cents a minute. Yes, a MINUTE! And do you know what is worse? I actually paid for it! (Well, I prepaid for a package and got it for 47 cents a minute.)

Also in the Solarium was a free snack bar which was open all afternoon. Got a craving for pizza (yes, a few times) or a burger or fries or fruit or a cookie (um, yeah!)–the Solarium was the place for you.  It was also a good place to play cards as if we had played by the pool, they would have blown away!

Here is a view of the Solarium at night. Sigh. So pretty.

     
Next time, we’ll talk about food and random bits of sporting fun!

The ship, as I mentioned earlier, was quite lovely. When it was not tossing around making me queasy, it was like being in an elegant hotel or a very cool, big house. It was surprising how deserted it often felt. Sometimes I’d be the only person on the stairs for five flights or the only one in the solarium or some other place. Where did all the people go? I’m not quite sure.

The Viking Lounge

One place which was pretty much deserted during the day (but still smelled of smoke) was the Viking Lounge. I guess this is the place to be if you are a drinker and dancer and smoker and over 18. During the day, it was just a pretty place.

It was located in the round, glass circle thing shown below. (I’d draw an arrow to it, but we will just pretend it is like a Where’s Waldo game: Where’s the big, round, glass room?)

This is me inside the room. I think I’m looking at my camera.

 

Here’s the ship thing for which the room was probably named. Or perhaps the decoration was added and the room was named for hard-drinking, horn-wearing Viking behavior?

 

In any case, Peep and Teacherperson did not visit this room except during the day.

The Library

On the last day we were on the ship, someone said something about the library. “There is a library on this ship?” we said. So, we set out to find it.  It turned out to be a lovely room with newspapers and books you could check out for the duration of the trip. Peep wished she had known about the newspapers. “The world could have ended, and I would not have known,” she said. She was right.

Like the rest of the boat, there was some art work, this one a bit more whimsical. (in case you cannot tell, that’s a sculpture of a guy asleep with a newspaper over his head)

Speaking of sleeping…Peep dreams of our next trip–to visit Incans. By plane.

The Casino

Another place on the boat (ship?) where people could smoke was the casino. They had real dealers, computer dealers, slot machines, and all the stuff I suppose you’d have in a real casino. It was called Casino Royale, very James Bond.

Peep tried her luck with the slot machines.

I found them incredibly boring and a waste of money. She actually did win on her first day. Spent $20 and earned $12.25! The next time was only $5 down the tubes. And that was the extent of her gambling.  If you wanted, you could get up to $2000 a day to play! Wow. That would be $10,000 for the whole cruise. I bet there were people who did that, too. Scary.

That Lounge That I Forget the Name of

There was another lounge where they played games. I forget what it was called, and really, does it matter? Anyhow, Peep and I headed there one day for… BINGO!

Oh, wait! This picture tells me it was the South Pacific Lounge. I like my name better.

Peep graciously bought us cards, four games for a lot of money. You could also buy these machines that automatically played thirty cards for you. Guess which people were the ones who won all the games? Anyhow, off my bitter train of thought…the real, live cards were neat. Instead of using chips or marker dauber pen things, you punched out the number halfway.  They did try to make it fun. If you were one number away from bingo, you were to stand up and start gyrating around, which they called “making pizza.” I did not even get a piece of pepperoni.

Also in this Nameless Lounge, we played a trivia game. But, let me back up. Peep and I were wandering and missed the start of the trivia game and came in late. They were in the middle and had already formed teams. One team, Team 12, had abandoned the game. “We’ll be the new Team 12!” we said! And two other couples volunteered. So we banded together.

The British guy announcer, Mark, asked the question: “Who is the most desirable man in the world?”  Everyone was supposed to write and answer the question and turn it in at the front. Peep joked, “Let’s say Tiger Woods. Everyone seems to want him!”  So we did. They guy laughed, but he did not give us any points. Then, the next question was asked: “What is a good pick up line?”  We giggled for a bit, and one of the guys from the couples said, “Well, it’s sort of crude, but, ‘Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?’” We thought this was well worth a point, so we turned it in. Lots of laughs but no point!

Then, we found out how you were supposed to play! It was the groups who chose the most frequently chosen answer who got a point. (Pick up line? Can I buy you a drink.)  Well, this did not seem a bit of fun to us at all, so we went for the funny lines as much as we could.

How do you pick up a rabbit? By the hare!

Anyhow, it was amusing.  Here’s our team with Mark the British Boat Guy.

The Game Room (Or maybe it was called The Card Room?)

The same person who mentioned the library also told us about the game room, another heretofore unknown place on the ship. (Turns out, the library and game room were on the same deck, across from each other.

In this room, not surprisingly, you could pick a game to play.

There were all sorts of tables, and the chairs had one of the four suits from cards carved into them. Very cute. The artwork here was card-themed. (which is one reason I suspect the name was Card Room and not Game Room)

Next time, we’ll talk about pools and hot tubs and my favorite place on the ship (other than my bed, where I did not care if the boat was tossing!)