I wish the Painting Fairy would come and finish this porch for me.  Today, the UPS guy came and said, “You’re STILL painting?” 

I conscripted Little Miss (who was insanely eager to help) and Gockle (not so much) to work with me today. After about seven minutes, Gockle actually stamped his foot at me and said, “No more!” (to which I said, “Great, you can go straight to bed after football practice.”)  Little Miss lasted about 20 minutes before she had a meltdown.

Tonight is Youth Group. I wish I had told all of them to pack painting clothes. We’d have this porch done in no time. 

Oh, and I discovered that it will take two coats in addition to the primer. Sigh.

I must say that I have enjoyed the past few days immensely.  One reason is that summer is finally here–hot days, warm nights, lots of reasons to be in the pool.  As a matter of fact, yesterday, to celebrate the fact that I finally got the coat of primer finished on my porch railings, we spent the day in the pool, invited a family over for a cookout, and played pinochle to late in the evening. What fun! Today I found out that yesterday was National Relaxation Day.  How fitting.

Have you seen the website My Life is Average? I love it.  http://mylifeisaverage.com/

It’s a website of ordinary people who do slightly amusing things in the course of their average lives. Here are a few entries:

Today my friend almost choked on a LifeSaver. I laughed at the irony.

Today, both my mother and elderly grandmother were texting at the table. Not wanting to feel left out, I took my phone out and pretended to text. My mom caught me fake-texting, and my grandmother called me ‘lame’.

Today, I ordered a pizza online. The website gave me the delivery boy’s name, so I quickly put on a shawl and my mom’s glasses. When I opened the door I said “Welcome, Tom.” He looked terrified.

Today I pretended the mashed potatoes I was eating for dinner was a volcano and the gravy was hot lava that I quickly ate with my spoon to save the countless civilians living in an imaginary village below. No one else at the table suspected anything.

Last night, I was lying in bed, thinking about clothes. I got a crazy idea about designers sewing a shirt and a skirt together. I felt like an inventive genius, before I realized that was called a dress.

Today, I was in a parade. It looked like it was going to start raining. I got excited that it might literally rain on my parade. It rained. I was excited.

Today, I was on a subway and someone’s watch was ticking quite loudly. I said “Hmm, what is that mysterious ticking noise…” with a fake British accent. Someone began singing the, “Snape, Snape, Severus Snape” tune. I yelled “Dumbledore!”. We exchanged smiles. I think I’ve found my soul mate.

I am very sad. I am truly sad. I just discovered tonight that my tomatoes have the blight. I did not even realize there was a pandemic tomato blight striking the northeast. My mom asked me about my tomatoes just yesterday, and I bragged about how big they were and how many tomatoes I had. She said all her friends’ plants were wiped out by the blight.

Tonight, I went to look at them and discovered a bunch of brown leaves. Huh? Not enough water? No, we’ve had PLENTY of rain, believe me.  Later, we were chatting with a neighbor who spoke of the tomato blight wiping out his plants in 48 hours and how the fungus can live in the soil for three years and how it can travel 40 miles via wind (so says Penn State’s Ag Department).

With trepidation, I asked, “What does it look like?”
He proceeded to describe the current state of my tomato plants.

I am very sad. I’ve only had four tomatoes.

Today was a bit of downer for various reasons, one of which is that the porch painting is going to take a hundred years (or at least a week).  Anyhow, I was really anticipating a hot bath and a mind-numbing novel, and I indulged in both.  Relaxed and more peaceful, I put on my pajamas and came downstairs, intending to eat a large number of the peanut butter cookies that Wit made which were perfuming the house.

When I got downstairs, Wit was watching TV in one room and the other room was occupied by a bunch of guys playing Guitar Hero!  I scurried back upstairs to put on more appropriate clothing pretty quickly. 

It only proves that sometimes song lyrics are dead-on.

Splish Splash, I was takin’ a bath
Long about a Saturday night,
Rub-a-dub, just relaxin’ in the tub
Thinkin’ everything was alright

Well, I stepped out the tub, put my feet on the floor,
I wrapped the towel around me,
And I opened the door, and then
Splish, Splash! I jumped back in the bath.
Well how was I to know there was a party going on?

I don’t really feel like writing this entry.

Why waste my time and yours, then?  Well, if I get out of the habit of blogging (as I did the past two days and past…um…six months, then I might never return. (Stop saying, “Oh, good.” Meanie.)

We got the drums and microphone for Guitar Hero today.  I got them used on Ebay, so I am hoping they hold up. I’m kind of keen to try them out myself.  I am not so terrible at the guitar part of the game for an old woman.  However, tonight I think I might just curl up and watch the rest of Lost in Austen, a British TV show which I have on DVD–300 minutes of campy fun.

I’ve been a painting fool lately. However, it’s taking much longer than I anticipated to wash down all the spindles and banisters of the porch. And then I will prime it. And paint it. (I hope I only have to do one coat!) 

I’d like to eat a vegetable right now. I’m thinking raw carrots. And then ice cream.

Instead of bulky paragraphs, today’s blog will just be in sentences.

TGD took his wife out to lunch for her 19th anniversary (tomorrow). He also brought her two dozen red roses.

Hunter played Ultimate Frisbee for hours this evening on campus.

Wit talked us into going to Dairy Queen after we lost our church softball game tonight.

Libby K joined her parents on their anniversary lunch after a sleepover.

Gockle started football practice tonight. Go Bulldogs!

Little Miss started working on a Best Friends scrapbook of pictures.

Jasper the cat continued to sneeze and cough and has a runny eye.

Max the cat begged for soft cat food. (This is his daily status.)

And your very own Teacherperson was excited to hear that her new washer will be delivered tomorrow after lunch! 

It’s kind of been a dull day, and that makes for dull writing.  But, pictures always spice things up, right? And joyous things are great to read about. Here’s a dose of both!

One event I always look forward to each summer (besides pickled eggs and fresh tomatoes) is the Curwensville Day Parade. My hometown (Curwensville) hosts a week-long festival with entertainment such as Kathy’s School of Dance, the Fiddler’s Contest, the Clearfield Community Band, and more.  The highlight is Saturday night’s Fireman’s parade.  This year, the fire trucks and candy tossing was a bit damp at first, but then it dried up and only the Shriner with the snake remained to get us wet.

A week ago, Little Miss got to be the flower girl at the wedding of two dear friends.  I was the guest book attendant, which seemed fitting, as the happy couple met in my English class.  What a wonderful day it was!

In addition to being the wedding, last Saturday was also Hunter’s 18th birthday. He had a friend over, and we grilled out the most delicious steaks ever. Really.  And the cake wasn’t bad either. 

What an absolutely lovely summer day it was!  And I spent it hard at work on the porch.  You remember THE DOG, I assume. Well, remember how it dug up the porch and left holes in the wood? That wood had to be replaced. So Wit (age 16) ripped off half of the front of the porch and worked off and on for a month to replace the boards. I was very proud that he stuck to it and got it done. Then, the side porch had to be done, but not all the side boards needed replacing, and we didn’t have the right tools, so we hired a guy to replace the boards, which took him all of 5 hours.  Today, Gockle, TGD, and I sanded and sanded the old boards which had peeling paint.  Afterward, the painting began. I’m not sure how long it took me today to put two coats on the porch, the trim, and the lattice on our rather large wraparound porch. But I do know that my hands can’t grip, my arms are weak, and my back is sore. And I whine on Xanga.  Actually, I really enjoy painting, so this was a good project for me.

And, I HAD A RIPE TOMATO! Mmmmmmm! But the seeds were almost flourescent green. I was a tad nervous to eat them, although it might have turned me into something like Spiderman, except I’d be Tomato Woman with the shape, coloring, and special skills of a tomato. Er, no thanks. Anyhow, what I ate was delicious. You have no idea how long it seems I’ve been waiting for those tomatoes to get ripe.

Speaking of long waits, I have the next installment of the Rip-Many-Holes washer saga. Yesterday, I went to Sears, as I called earlier and was told the woman with whom I’d been dealing would be in later that day.  When I asked for her, I was told, “Oh, she’s on vacation.”  With a disgusted sigh, I said, “I need to speak to the district manager.” The poor fellow looked panicked and said, “I can get our store manager.”  Which he did.

The store manager came out and seemed kind. I told him my tale of woe–the four years of repairs, the holes ripped in clothes (had samples in the van!), and all. He took me to the Kenmore washers and said, “Which one do you have?”
“Well, none of these. Mine is four years old.”
“Which one is it closest to?”
I pointed it out and called TGD for confirmation. Mr. Manager nodded a few times and said, “Can you take delivery of a new washer next week?”
I looked at him, baffled for a second. “Um. Are you taking the old one away?”
“Yes, it shouldn’t do that.”

So, I’m getting a brand-new washer FOR FREE to replace my four year old one which rips up our clothes. Hooray Sears Manager Guy!

And, if that weren’t enough good things, let’s not forget a large bowl of chocolate chip ice cream, a garage cleaned by the children, algebra project still finished, and a new Julia Quinn novel. And, of course, all you dear people who bother to read these rambles.