September 4, 2008
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Confessions of a Homeschool Dropout
My mention that my children were getting on the school bus may have left some of you with puzzled frown lines between your eyes. “Wait, doesn’t teacherperson homeschool? Isn’t that WHY she’s called ‘teacherperson’?”
Let me tell you my tale…
I’ve been homeschooling since 1995 and have loved it. Over the past few years, though, I have felt increasingly burnt out. Instead of joyfully reading Sonlight books and blowing things up with baking soda and vinegar, I was getting short with the kids and feeling like a constant nag. I thought this problem would resolve itself in England as we had nothing better to do than to homeschool, but I felt even more burnt out.
It had been the plan in the past that Hunter and Wit would take classes at the high school this year–whatever classes they wanted (plus one or two Mom wanted). Wit has a full day, but he scheduled so many computer and architecture electives that he is being homeschooled for English and History. Hunter is also homeschooling those two subjects, but his day at the high school is much less full.
It had not always been the plan that LibbyK and Gockle would hop a school bus to the middle school. As I mentioned, weariness and dread of homeschool seemed to be overwhelming me. As the summer wore on, I expected these feelings to fade. Instead, they increased. After much praying and talking with TGD, I felt it would be best if Gockle had classes at the local middle school for half a day. LibbyK at first did not want to go, and I was fine with that, but then she changed her mind.
So, as it stands, Gockle has advanced math, science, German, woodshop, geography, and lunch at the school. LibbyK has regular math, science, French, Home Ec., advanced English, and lunch at the school. I pick them up at 1:00.
So, what do I do from 7:30 to 12:45 (when I leave to get them). I homeschool Little Miss. Granted, it has only been two days, but our homeschool time has gone really well. She enjoys the one-on-one with me, we have time for crafts and cooking, and I can focus on a third grade level for read aloud books and activities. It’s been nice.
Will we continue down the path of public school? I think it would be hard to get my kids to leave, now. They seem to love it. And why not? I loved everything about school as a kid and teen. Yes, even tests and homework and all those other things you might toss at me to say that surely I couldn’t have liked such and such.
Do I feel a bit like I’ve sold out to the world? Yes, in some ways. But, I have to remind myself that homeschooling is not “more Godly.” Public schooling will not make my children turn into gun-toting liberals**. Instead, I have to keep doing what I have done in the past–commit my children to their faithful creator!
So what did you hate about school, or were you a nerd like me?**Yes, I realize that liberals ban guns. That Republicans are all NRA. I do get that. It was a bit of a joke. Really. The whole mixed-up thing? Perhaps I’d be better off rewording…
Comments (34)
Sounds like you are making the best of what is going on in your life right now. The kids have been firmly grounded at home, and they are not completely “let loose” in school. And the big bonus is having more time for Little Miss!
I still consider you a homeschooling Mom, and even if you weren’t, I’d still count you as a friend. So there!
Don’t be hard on yourself. You have not sold out to the world. I am sure you have provided a good foundation.
I liked school once I got to high school and then even more in college.
My classes in high school always seemed to be boring or monotonous, that’s what I didn’t like. My school was pretty small, though, so there wasn’t a lot of variety.
I don’t think that there is one right way and one wrong way to teach our children. Each family has to weigh what is best for their children and their whole family. I think you have done that. (I only wish that our school systems in NY would let us partially enroll kids into certain classes.) But we all do the best that we can. I think it is great that you get some one on one time with Little Miss…I would love to have that with my middle two.
You are a great mom and a great teacher – keep up the good work…
Colleen
Good for you for being willing to follow the Spirit’s leading. I wish I had your options. Alas, here…it’s all or nothing. I’ve been tempted to throw in the towel often – but felt like the Lord told me not to, so here we are, after 19 years, still hanging in there.
What did I hate about school? The same thing I loved about it – the socializing. I went to 4 different high schools, so it was a little rough at times!
I understand what you mean about feeling like a “sell out”…and I sympathize with your heart….because in many ways I feel the same way. Due to my state of marital “un-bliss” and my new lifestyle of a single mother….my kids are going to our churches private school instead of me homeschooling….in many ways, I feel like I’ve had to choose food on the table over love and learning at the table.
I tried to be supermom last year and do both- but it simply doesn’t work!!
I think you and Little Miss will find a great year of bonding, learning and creating wonderful memories together without the stress and distrastaction of other “students”.
Don’t beat yourself up! You’re a great mom…and you can tell that your a great “teacherperson” too because of the classes and electives your children are doing!!!! WOW! You should be incredibly proud!
Shouldn’t that be “flag-burning liberals”? I mean, since liberals are against gun rights and all.
And I think that each family needs to make the decision that is best for them, and that they can follow through with.
@AimeeAnne -
Tee-hee. Homeschool graduate catches the irony. Must be your extremely advanced age. Oh, wait. That doesn’t happen for another day!
Actually, I loved school. (please blur my face when you broadcast that
) I loved the challenge and the competition. I loved being in school plays and speech and writing competitions. And I imagine some of my kids would love it, too. I can see why your very outgoing and creative kids would love it!
I also know how much school shaped me, in not-so-great-ways, which is why we chose to homeschool. I never criticize those who choose public school, but I’m afraid I would be too lazy to check up on what they’re learning and correct misinformation and wrong ideals. And I enjoy school from a teacher’s perspective, too–I guess I’m not ready to quit~!
But, boy, do I hear you about the burnout. Been there, done that, and frankly, there were a couple of years there that my kids would have probably been better off in public school. (I didn’t really say that, did I?)
You have to do what’s best for YOUR family, and I’m sure it wasn’t exactly easy to make the decision. I’m really glad that your kids are enjoying it and doing well–that must feel good!
@TeacherPerson - So, you mean, that after tomorrow… I’ll have an extremely advanced age? Does this mean people will quit mistaking me for a sixteen year old????
@AimeeAnne -
You can only hope. But, I think I’d save my birthday wish for something more likely to come true. Maybe relatives who think singleness is not synonymous with a fatal disease? Maybe you should wish for chocolate.
If your kids are happy and you are happy, it’s all good! I was a social butterfly in highschool. Not so big on the homework, but LOVED band, art classes, English and Spanish. I got through the rest of my classes with gritted teeth. But I LOVED the social stuff.
We’ve struggled every with the decision to homeschool or go public. So far it’s homeschool. What makes a difference for us is Annie is working part time. It’s changed her perspective and our’s.
God bless you Mary.
C.
I meant to say every year. That’s what happens when there are too many people talking to me at once, lol.
We moved around a lot, and I went to 9 schools (3 public, 5 Christian, and 1 year of homeschool) before graduated from high school. I usually liked school, and most of the time, I didn’t mind being the new kid. I have been praying for you this week. I hope that all goes well for you and your family this year.
Someone once told me in order to homeschool you need three things: 1. Time 2. Motivation 3. Know How, without all three it doesn’t work. If this statement is true, then I think you made the right decision.
And thank you for saying “I have to remind myself that homeschooling is not “more Godly.” Public schooling will not make my children turn into gun-toting liberals.”, you can train your children in the Lord and still send them to school. You set the example, you build their foundation, and the Lord takes care of the rest. I often have to remind myself that my girls are their own people, with their own choices; I can’t thirst after the Lord for them, they have to do it on their own, all I can do is as you said, “commit my children to their faithful creator!”
Don’t be so hard on yourself, your a great mom with great kids and it was so nice to talk with you yesterday.
BTW: I hated school, I had a problem with gossip and lying then, it got me into a great deal of emotional trouble. However the academic part I loved, I still love learning, I wish I had time to go back to school, just not MS or HS!
Shouldn’t that be gun-hating liberals? I’ll grant you I’ve known a few gun-waving ‘liberals’ but they were more anarchists than anything else; they’d have spat on schools. I wish I could visit. I barely spend any time at home though (I was there for about four days at the end of this summer before coming down here). I have a tendency to bury myself in work. I guess I could write on xanga more, but I never seem to find the time. However, I’d like to try to come out to your New Years party this year (with luck)
Hee hee! I was puzzled, but figured that was just another one of those things that we’ve lost track of, being out of state and all. Sounds like you’ve worked out the plan that works best for your kids…which makes you a great mom and teacher, not a sell out!!
I was a nerd who HATED school. That is a big reason why I homeschooled, though by the time the kids were in high school they were taking classes at the public school. Quintus went full time and once told his teacher he would be the first of his siblings to graduate from high school. Haha. True, but misleading. The first four took their GED and went straight to college.
I do not judge you at all. I could do an ethnographic study on burnt-out homeschooling moms just by sitting in my own house.
Be on top of what they listen to and see, that is all I can suggest. Gun-toting liberals? Is there such a group? I don’t think you need to worry about THAT. God bless you.
I loved school except for the learning part. Basketball, football, FFA and finding ways to make my car go faster. I managed, by the hair of may chinny chin chin, to get into college, which I loved except for the learning part.
LIBERALS DON’T TOTE GUNS, WE BAN THEM.
(further comments reserved until more thinking has taken place)
For me, I liked school- the new crayons, the smell of a new book, seeing old friends, the concept of getting smarter. I didn’t like bullies or math class. If our school system around here would allow us to enroll kids on a part time basis, I would do it in a heartbeat. I allowed my younger daughter to go to middle school last year, and this year I have her homeschooled again… but her heart is with her friends at school… and I’m not getting her to experience a love of learning this year. My husband is wondering if I should just stick both of the kids in regular school next year…
tough, tough decisions. if we had the option to pick and choose a few classes, i might do that. our oldest did art, music and library at the local mennonite school when she was in third grade. it was relatively inexpensive back then (16 years ago), and not too far from home, but it about drove me over the edge to have her there something like every day 1,3,4,5 on a 6 day rotating schedule, for about an hour at a time, while taking care of my two younger girls who were at that time ages 4 1/2, and 5 months. we only did it for that one year, and i said “enough”. she was social and enjoyed the interaction with the other kids. it was a good experience for her. then in her senior year, she helped at the local public high school with their musical production. she was on the art and sound crews and enjoyed that very much. it was a compromise for us with her- we allowed her to do that but not go to high school there full-time. our homeschool co-op has drama, which was the drawing card for all my girls so far. my second daughter didn’t really have a desire to go to “school” and chose instead to finish high school at home a year early and jump right into college. my third is in 11th grade this year. i know she doesn’t want to “go to school”, esp now that she’s able to work mornings at her job in the restaurant while the other kids are all at school. my 8th grader would probably go if she had a choice. she’s asked more than once to be allowed to go to school. so far the answer is no, seeing that she would go for the social part and not for learning. we’re working hard on attitudes (again!) this year. my 5 year old loves being at home, doing things with mommy, doing first grade school work.
i’ve been in the burn-out stages of homeschooling over the past 17 years, but still feel like this is what God wants me to do, so i press on. if i had a wish, it would be that i could enjoy teaching my girls, rather than just “plowing through”.
personally, i didn’t like school much. i had all my years in public school. the kids were mean to me, except for the few friends i had. the kids on the bus picked on me. i loved band and choir, and math (except for calculus). we had a huge high school (600 in my grad class) so band and choir were big groups also, and it was fun. i hated putting up with all the taunting from the other kids though, and so i’d have a difficult time putting my girls into a public school setting. the mean words still replay in my mind even 30+ years later……i still have difficulty in social settings, feeling like my opinion is not valued, wondering if people really like me or just pretend to. i’d much rather be alone than in a group of people.
You, my dear, are NOT a homeschooling drop-out… you ARE still schooling at home and always will even if all your kids go to conventional schools. However, this does mean I’ll have to make up a song for you called, appropriately, “Homeschooling Drop-out”! (oh, I hope no one already did that above me… I didn’t read ALL the comments!!)
To the tune of “Beauty School Drop-Out”:
Homeschooling Drop-Out… you couldn’t handle all your kids.
Homeschooling Drop-Out… now, then, your life is “on the skids”!
Once, you were happy and excited… now you hate “the first day of school”.
You need a break ’cause losing your hair just ain’t cool!
Homeschooling Drop-Out… you know you’ve seen some better days.
Homeschooling Drop-Out… you’ll have to change your “sleep in” ways!
Don’t you cry, now, when you “bus” them and they’re waving, “Buh-bye, Mom!”.
You know they’ll thank you when they get asked to the prom!
(and, of course, your answer will be NO!! ;D …that’s not part of the song, though.)
(o.k., the song is over)
I feel sad for you, jealous of you, and happy for you all at the same time! I think it would be very hard to send my kids off to school and I’d feel like a failure, too…. but you’re not! You’ve SUCCESSFULLY schooled all your kids for years and years!! That, my friend, IS a success story!! But… I’d be sad anyway. I’m jealous for all the peaceful quiet you are going to experience and for all the planning you’re NOT going to have to do this year for the kids schooling! And, finally, I’m happy for you, because, you are in a new season of life where you are going to be able to branch out and do some things that you’ve not had time for before! Maybe it’s time to take out some of your talents and give them a good dusting & polishing or take a class in some area that’s been an interest of yours for a long time? Or maybe you’ll have an opportunity to volunteer in the community!
Just don’t put yourself in a box. You may decide that you want to homeschool them all next year or bring one or two back! A break may be all you need! But, whatever decission you make, make sure it is based on God’s best for all of you. The kids’ feelings come and go (well, ours do, too.), but, God’s purposes for their lives is the important thing. Alright, no more preaching…. I promise!!
How is your hand? Are you all better? Hope so!
Love ya! (yes, I do!)
@aj1965 -
Oh, man. I am HOWLING with laughter. I’m picturing that whole angel scene in Grease and Frankie singing to me. Oh MAN! That was beyond funny.
ryc- wow! so does that make you rethink your choice to send them? Do the kids resent the wasted time when they could be learning actual stuff? That would drive Red insane!
I like that. You do have to hand your kids over to their faithful creator! Homeschooling is no guarantee they will come out right all the time, anyway. I sort of reconnected with two homeschooled friends quite recently, and it was so sad to see the direction their lives are going in. Openly, verbally rejecting God, and living lives full of drinking and tattoos and sex, etc. It’s so painful to see.
Anywho, don’t feel guilty! Trust God and follow His lead.
Lol, I feel funny saying that to an adult who is like my friendly Aunt, but there you are.
I have always felt that parents were responsible for asking God for direction concerning their children. That may mean public, private, or homeschool…You and God are the ones who know what’s right for your children. I did some of both with my son and one year of private with my daughter. I believe our children learn their greatest lessons at home no matter where they are “schooled.” Be blessed and I love your profile pic. Hats and trees become you!
I never quite fit in when I started going to public school. But I did enjoy the academics and my involvement with the basketball team. I still like to learn.
Although, as a result of my homeschooling I’m afraid that I’ve become a gun-toting conservative.
I think I’d have to agree with aj1965. I’m sad for you, happy for you & jealous of you– ok, mostly jealous! lol I can’t tell you how many times this past year I’ve thought about sending them on the bus. I would agree that for that most part, my kids are well-grounded, but that’s just the most part…. I fear my overweight daughter would get picked on, and of course, the two youngest are too tall & too old to be put where they belong academically (groan)– I’m still hoping to catch them up this year, as I had hoped last year. Throw in a wedding & you have a very burned-out mom wishing to wave to the bus & then do a dance all the way down the street to the house. And of course there’s the whole co-op thing (which I am the head of). Isn’t funny how I think to myself that I’d do a much better job heading that up if I wasn’t homeschooling? But then I wouldn’t need to be involved….. can’t win. The co-op started today, and I’m just “thrilled.” But then my “practical” side takes over: “What about the things that are getting taught more & more in the classroom that we don’t agree with?” “What about Mike’s weekends really being on Mondays & Tuesdays (if we want to go anywhere)?” “What about taking vacation in early Sept. when everyone else is back at school?”
What did I like best about school? Bandfront. I was a majorette for 2 years. Oh, & I liked the school plays. Mostly, I ended up being anxious about going to school & if my “best” friend would be my friend that day or not. Classes were ok, I had more advanced ones. But some of the teachers were real jerks.
I wonder how you managed all of that! It sounds like way too much for one person. The mix your kids get now will be great for them.
I didn’t like music and math at school. And now I’m becoming a teacher for math and will probably have to sing at times too.
I’m glad to hear things are going well for your kids in public school and for the one on one time with your youngest at home. I can relate to this burn out thing and how that feels. You just get tired! I’ve done this for 19 year now, and I know I’m still suppose to continue, but it gets overwhelming and at times I question if my kids were better off in school than at home. I think it takes courage to make that move, and I also think the homeschooling community understands more than you realize. I continue in many ways because I see my kids are a lot like me. In otherwords, they like social scenes and following crowds. With that in mind, what did I like about school? The social scene-friends that I followed and catered to. I hated everything else.
To be really honest… I have learned more homeschooling my kids than I learned while I was in school. I was so bored in school!
Our district will not allow homeschoolers to take classes part-time. That would be a really cool option.
Sorry to read of your sensation of impending burn-out — that’s such a bummer experience. On the other hand, it’s great that you recognized it and were creatively proactive. My time teaching in public schools between research gigs made me determined that any children I had/adopted/purchased/were left with me “accidentally” would spend as little time as possible in that system due to rigidity in techniques and scheduling (plus the usual low standards, unproductive chaos, and a real dearth of good behavioral models); it’s so good to see that you and your children could arrange to get their needs met without lowering your standards.
Not quite as an aside: I would be described by most as a “liberal” and, though I’ve let my NRA membership lapse, I believe that the Second Amendment should not be weakened or altered. There are quite a few similar “liberals” who cheered the Supreme Court’s June, 2008 decision in District of Columbia v. Heller; it’s not our fault the Negative Nellies who don’t get the mutually supportive relationship between rights and privileges in the 1st 2nd Amendments are more entertaining to the press as they flail, froth and whine.
This sounds like a very healthy transition for the kids, and good for you too. Teaching is something that easily turns into burnout. I don’t know how 30 year teachers do it. I could have lasted more than the 7yrs I did, if I’d lived in an area with decent schools. And I may return to it in the future. I think you’re taking good care of yourself and your kids. And it’s not as if you’re going to stop helping them foster interests and such. They likely have firm faiths and will bring light into the world of their schools. Bravo!
I adored school at times, was picked on in others. Tall. Way too skinny. Sometimes picked on for being so smart…I was an “early bloomer” academically (was reading at 3), but the rest of the kids caught up to me by high school. I was an awkward teen, so that was hard. But the learning, and the successes of EARNING grades were what I thrived on.