January 3, 2006

• Wishes and Washers

  If you will notice, I’ve added a title to this blog. Just the first way that I’m keeping resolution #5. 

  Imagine if you will, a tired lady. Imagine the tired lady puts a final
  load in the washer and wearily climbs the stairs to bed an hour or two
  earlier than her usual bed time. Picture her cuddling under the
  electric blanket in the cool darkness of her bedroom.  Ahh.
  Imagine that the lady begins to hear a “thump, thump” noise. 
  “Hmm,” thinks the lady, “that sounds like the washer. But surely it’s
  just an ordinary noise.  I know I don’t usually hear the washer
  agitating when I’m in my bedroom.”   She closes her eyes
  again–for about two minutes.

  “KA-THUD! KA-THUD! KA-THUD!”  Fully aware that a serious washing
  machine malfunction is occurring, perhaps a ferret caught between the
  tub and the drum, the lady leaps from her bed to turn off the washer.
  She gets to the laundry room right after her husband who has already
  shut off the offending appliance.  Lifting the lid, she dismally
  surveys the half-drained tub and pile of sodden sheets and
  towels.  “I’ll take care of draining the washer. Then, you can
  take it apart,” she says to her husband.

  Drip, drip, slosh, drip–each saturated, soapy item is removed from the
  washer and placed in a laundry basket in the sink.  Then, cup
  after cup after cup–dip, pour, dip, pour, dip, pour–the washer is
  finally emptied of all of its water. 

  Next, the woman surfs the net to find all the washer disassembly
  instructions and repair instructions she can. Other than the obvious fix of
  being off-balance, there seems to be no advice except from a
  miserably-spelled site in the UK with many technical terms. 
  Things are not looking good.

  An hour or so later, the washer is torn apart as much as a
  mathematician and a woman in her pajamas can manage.  All they
  can see looks good–no broken springs, no Legos stuck in odd places, no
  ferrets.  Everything is put back together (except one forgotten
  part), and they vow to call the repairman in the morning, hoping that
  their fears of hundreds of dollars needing to be spent won’t be reality.

  Four days later (pesky holidays!), the repairman, Mark, is contacted.
  He worked on this machine twice just two months ago.  The lady
  turns the washer on  which, now empty, sounds like an off-balance
  washer played over a loudspeaker and holds the telephone close to the
  machine.  “Wow,” says Mark  and asks a few
  questions.   “Well, it sounds like it’s the transmission or
  coupler blah blah blah… That’s not an easy repair. You probably want
  to get a new washer.”

  So, here is that lady a few hours later, the lady who had been wishing
  for a front-loading, super capacity washer, about to get her wish. But,
  with many things wished for, she is thinking that she’d rather not
  spend the money.  She’d rather go to bed.
  
  

  • 4:59 pm
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